The next time you are triggered, transform judgments (yours and theirs!) with three practical self-resourcing practices that will help you stay both honest and kind.Read More
Although we often want to move away from unpleasant feelings to avoid them, remember that often simply feeling it, fixes it.Read More
What do you do when your feelings get hurt? Well, let me tell you what didn't work for me recently, and what did. Building emotional strength takes intentionality and practice.Read More
We often think we know what we want, but don't. Connecting to deeper needs in any given situation can be game-changing.Read More
When should we say something? It's not always easy to know when to speak up for something you believe in, and when it might be wiser to remain silent.Read More
When someone challenges, disagrees with or contradicts you, how do you respond? Does your body tighten-up or gear-up? Do you withdraw, feel shame, get resentful, self-silence?Read More
Whenever we are stuck and suffering, we get ensnared by victim mentality: an intricate collection of judgmental thinking patterns that we inherited from our cultures and upbringing.
Here’s how I handled a disorienting and upsetting confrontation in a parking lot one day - all I learned about how to recover from reactivity!Read More
Working with some educational leaders recently on improving schools, someone remarked,"The problem is simply that many of our teachers are just too emotional." Years of experience hearing comments like this in schools and companies has taught me to slow down and ask more questions.Read More
I recently asked a team of leaders what I could work on to become even more effective in my work with them. You know what they told me? More accountability, please. Here’s one daily practice that has really helped me stay accountable in my own process!Read More
This week I rocked the boat by setting some new boundaries with people I love. Normally, I'd just manage the conflict internally, and not "get real" with myself or others about what I actually wanted. But not this time.Read More
When I am tired or low on interpersonal resources, I find it difficult to show up with compassion and grace. I sink back into judgmental, controlling and reactive habits even though I know they are self-sabotaging and unlikely to result in what I actually want. Here 3 Principles I return to when I am doing repair work in an important relationship.Read More
I have been reflecting upon questions of power, consciousness and choice. Caroline Myss (one of my favorite teachers, despite her judgmental style) often talks about how our choices are our fundamental power.
As I was preparing for my talk on Conscious Commitments last Sunday, I found myself thinking more deeply about the choices I've made in my own life.Read More
During our monthly zoom call last Friday, we talked about how to apply nonviolent principles when we are working with anger, and discussed the three kinds of sight we need to develop when we are engaged in a change process.Read More
Recently I got an full immersion experience into what it means to work at the edge of my comfort zone and expand into my yesses. When I was invited to be a guest on Marianne Combs' show on Minnesota Public Radio along with Resmaa Menakem to talk about anger in the public sphere, I responded with an enthusiastic yes.