Posts in NVC
Why Being "Positive" Might Be Bad For You

Have you noticed the cultural pressure to “Be Positive” or “Be Strong” or “Focus on the Good”?

It's as if we think that acknowledging or empathizing with painful experiences inadvertently creates more of them.

I hear it all the time.

“I would never do therapy,” someone said to me disdainfully, “All that focus on bad feelings and old stories will simply create more of them in my life.  I don’t want to attract negativity like that.” 

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5 Steps to More Powerful Requests

Whenever I ask for something relational that I’m needing (comfort, affection, to be heard or seen) I feel super vulnerable. This isn’t easy.

I worry about:

1. Being turned down

2. Feeling disappointed, and

3. Then judging myself for being too needy, demanding, pushy or selfish.

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Including More Parts. (Getting Bigger)

We lived in Germany when I was in elementary school and each year for the holidays we would visit extended family “back home” in South Africa.

I'd always be just a little more grown up.

Hugging and welcoming us, family would turn to me saying with glowing, love and pride, saying: “Oh my, look how big you’ve gotten! You are such a big girl now... ”

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