Love is Louder

Being a person is hard. So many relationships are founded on entrenched patterns of judgment, criticism, blame, shame, manipulation, “feedback” (whatever that even means), analysis & evaluations.

To make things worse, I then internalize these ways of thinking and begin seeing the world through the lens of diagnosis, pathology, disease and wrongness.  Depressing.

Lost in brooding about the state of the world and my life recently, I happened to notice our new dog wagging her tail each time I walked past her lying on the living room floor.

I stopped to acknowledge her: She wagged more.

Happen to glance her way? Tail wagging.

Say her name? Tail wagging.

Arrive home?  Tail wagging.

Turn over in my bed?  Tail wagging.

Incredible.

It was like getting constant approval for simply existing.

And it totally changed my mood.  

Despite all the negativity swirling around me and within me, I discovered (as SoulPancake points out, below) that love is louder

Aren't we all like this naturally: 

Attuned to one other, and just wanting to be seen, heard, acknowledged and loved?

Tragically, instead of just wagging our tails as a bid for connection and an offer oflove, we almost compulsively diagnose, judge, analyze and evaluate each other. Instead of asking for what we are actually needing, we want to talk "about" what is"wrong."  Not fun, and it doesn't really work.

Marshall Rosenberg used to say that we have immense power to make life wonderful for one another, and that nothing brings us more joy than enriching life for one another.

Let's make it a practice this week to find ways of adding more “tail wagging” into our lives and the lives of those we love.

  • Let's speak words of encouragement
  • Let's focus our language on naming what is good
  • Let's tell people about the positive impact they have on our lives
  • Let's play more
  • Let's laugh more
  • Let's dance more  (even alone in our rooms at night)

In keeping with this theme,  this inspiring and funny video by SoulPancake  offers practical ideas for human versions of tail wagging: